Original Article: "Papal Bull on Satan and Hell" http://www.thehappyheretic.com/previous/10-99.htm
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OCTOBER 1999
Pope John Paul II, on July 28, 1999, made an embarrassingly clumsy attempt to explain this diabolical, eternal torture chamber known as Hell. His attempt was an unmitigated failure.
(This was not an official papal "Bull." It was the other kind of bull.)
He said that while Hell was not a physical place, it was for real and, rather than being inflicted by God, it was something sinners bring on themselves. "Hell is not a punishment imposed externally by God, but the condition resulting from attitudes and actions which people adopt in this life," he said.
He also added that demons do exist. And he said, "So eternal damnation is not God's work but is actually our own doing."
Oh, really? I didn't realize human beings created Hell. I could have sworn it was Almighty God. Did I miss something? Of course when dabbling in the supernatural, nonsense usually results. But Satan and Hell are more than just nonsense. They are the epitome of sadism. The idea of a totally vicious, sadistic Devil is not only primitive and unsophisticated; it is offensively, repulsively ugly.
The idea of a malevolent being reigning supreme over a fiery kingdom of eternal, tormenting anguish is so savagely cruel it could only have been dreamed up by savagely cruel people.
Every now and again I get a message like this: "Great site! You are obviously a Satanist. So am I. Can I link to your site?" And I answer, "Uh, no. No thanks. I'll pass." Then there are the dire warnings like this: "You and other Devil worshippers will end up roasting in Hell forever with your anti-Christ!" Or, "If you want to get in bed with Satan, you'll get what's coming to you!'' (I wonder if I'd also get VD?) It's nice of these folks to warn me of my impending doom, but I must clear something up.
I recognize no deity of any kind. I worship no one and nothing. I do not believe in Jehovah, Jesus, The Wizard of Oz, Allah, Brahma, Quetzalcoatl, Vishnu, Shiva, Satan, Re, Gertie the G-String Goddess, Teccuciztecutl, Isis or Apollo. I'd list all the gods I don't believe in but there are only so many hours in any given lifetime. (Okay, okay.
There's a warm place in my heart for Bob the Raingod, but that's another story.)
The confusion that surrounds atheism and Satanism is utterly baffling. It's as if we are determined that everyone must acknowledge some deity of some kind, and so we proceed to pigeon-hole everyone. I'm evidently being stuck with Satan. Of course I'm not happy about this. He seems like a real bastard. But let me make one thing perfectly clear. (Oh, jeez. Now I'm sounding like Nixon.) Atheism is the absence of belief in a deity of any kind.
Atheists not only don't believe in Satan; they don't believe a Satan exists. Satan schmatan!
There is a glaring contradiction in the Christian belief in Satan.
Satan destroys the supposed monotheism of Christianity. The Christian God is supposedly one God. The One True God.
(Aren't they all?) Christianity purports to be monotheism all the way.
No pantheons like those pagan Hindus. No siree. At the same time, the Christian God supposedly has three distinct "personages"—the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, commonly called the Holy Trinity or the Triune God. (Commonly called the One-Sided Triangle by me.) This single God purportedly has three different personalities—like The Three Faces of Eve. Or like Certs—It's a breath mint! No, it's a candy mint! It's TWO mints in one!
Christian theology credits Satan with amazing powers over humans, sometimes known as "Satanic Curses. " His sole motivation is to ensnare and capture our immortal souls so he can watch us scream and writhe in agony as we roast in the blazing inferno known as Hell. Forever.
Nice guy. But nice or not, if this is true, then Satan must be granted the status of a deity. He is not just another strange guy in a red suit.
He is a supernatural entity with powers equal to or greater than God's. This must be the case or else the supposedly all-merciful God would not "allow" Satan to direct his dastardly deeds toward us—we who are God's beloved creations.
This brings up the enigma known as "The Question of Evil." It has never been solved, and never can be. It has plagued theologians of all faiths for centuries. The reason for this is that their own definitions of God have backed them into an impossible corner.
They have created their own conundrum by insisting that God is simultaneously omniscient, omnibenevolent and omnipotent.
Theologians must agree that, by definition, an omniscient (all-knowing) God would have known that ultimately evil would stalk the world he was creating. There can be no doubt that evil is here; so God must have foreseen it. Theologians must likewise agree that an omnibenevolent (all-merciful) God would never inflict pain and suffering on his own purportedly beloved human creations.
And finally, they must agree that an omnipotent (all-powerful) God would have had the option of creating a world with no evil in it.
Nothing in the entire universe could have prevented him from doing whatever he wanted, since he is omnipotent. So, how did evil arrive on the scene?
Blaming humanity's "free will" won't work. An all-knowing God would know exactly where that "free will" would lead—to evil. So if he didn't want evil to exist, he shouldn't have created free will.
There's no getting around it. If God did not know evil would be in the world, he could not be all-knowing. If he knew there would be evil and chose to allow it, he could not be all-merciful. If he knew there would be evil but could not do anything to prevent it, he could not be all-powerful. If you insist on insisting that God is omniscient, omnipotent and omnibenevolent, you must then also insist that there is no evil in this world—which of course is nonsense. True Believers are stuck with this insolvable problem. The Question of Evil single-handedly destroys the argument that posits an all-powerful, all-merciful, all-knowing god.
If I were an omnipotent, all-merciful God, Hell would be empty! Indeed, there would be no Hell. Does this not stand to reason?
And this brings us back to our friend, Satan. People blame Satan for the evils of the world, but blaming Satan won't work since an omnipotent God could have created a universe with no Satan in it.
God is omnipotent, remember? So Satan's origins are as impossible to explain as evil. For Christians, though, the problem is multifaceted. The concept of three beings equaling one God is murky enough. But if you then throw Satan into the mix you've got a real mess. If Satan is a supernatural power, and I think it's fair to say that sponsoring something as spectacular as Hell qualifies someone as a supernatural being, then here's the problem. If Christians claim Satan exists, they have only two choices:
(1) They must grant that Satan is a deity, bad-ass or otherwise, meaning they no longer may lay claim to monotheism. It's a (minimum) Two-Deity Universe.
(2) They can add Satan to their Holy Trinity, as a Fallen Angel or a Bad Seed or whatever, making their already crowded Trinity burst its seams and sprout a fourth side. A 4-sided triangle.
There are no other options if Satan is deemed to possess the awesome powers Christians assign to Him. And Satan's fearsome credentials are firmly established. He is a (most inconvenient) deity in an ersatz monotheistic Christianity. Making things worse, and another factor overlooked, is that Satan has a companion in his sadistic voyeurism—God. Knowing/seeing all things, God will surely witness the same screams of anguish from the souls in Hell that the Devil will witness.
The theological tangle that arises inescapably from the proposition that both God and Satan oversee the unimaginable, endless torment of human souls, is quite real and quite insolvable.
Which is why it is tippy-toed around by Christians. When challenged on the point, they are likely respond with something like: Satan enjoys the human agony, while God laments it (sniff, sob, tears) so the two are not companions in sadistic voyeurism. Sorry, but that dog won't hunt.
Satan is necessary if you are going to try to reconcile a loving, all-powerful God with an evil world; but God still has to take the heat (sorry) for the existence of Hell. And to frighten little children with such an abomination as Hell is a form of abuse. Trust me—I've been there.
Anyone who preaches such horrifying garbage deserves nothing but contempt and scorn. If this rant seemed rather harsh, don't blame me. The Devil made me do it.
© 1999 Judith Hayes
Source on John Paul's words: Jude Webber, Reuters, Internet, July 28, 1999.
